my death experience
Falling gravely ill, journeying two death experiences, gifted with a miracle to return,
all to begin a NEW Life .. of INTUITIVE HEALING.
all to begin a NEW Life .. of INTUITIVE HEALING.
Living on Purpose: Returning from a Death Experience to Become a Healer
It was a Sunday afternoon in late August 2008 when my husband had driven me to the ER due to a sudden onset of symptoms that had progressed over a 10-hour period. Source unknown, I had somehow developed an infection and quickly became septic. Shortly after arriving in the ER, I remember blacking out in the waiting room during the triage process and waking up in a Trauma Room. During one of my brief awake moments, I remember looking up at the blood pressure monitor and reading 49 over 28 .. I was alone to realize my likely fate. The infection had spread into my bloodstream, my organs were failing, my lungs were filling with fluid and I had developed pneumonia.
A moment I will forever cherish: The ER Physician had returned to check-in on me, and as he leaned down to observe my pupils, I remember telling him I didn't feel very well. He gently replied; I know you don't, and then proceeded to ask if I had any family members in the waiting room .. I didn't at the time as my husband had to attend another urgent matter at home. Realizing I was alone, the Doctor's demeanour suddenly changed and he reached to hold my hand. Choosing to stay with me in that moment as he sensed my death nearing, I remember feeling a deep sense of comfort from him as I faded into unconsciousness. Through an incredible journey to the other side, miraculously I had been chosen to continue my human life but not before journeying a second NDE in the ICU, this time I was blessed with a visit from my late Mother before returning to my physical body, and I can't possibly find the words that would describe how grateful and meaningful it was to feel her love again.
NDE Description:
Both experiences were very similar with the exception of Mother's presence during the second NDE. I remember my life fading as if I were calmly drifting off to sleep. It was very quiet, actually still sounding, as I floated in a black quiet space. A cloud-like formation began to appear in front of me. It was greyish-white in colour, oval-shaped and surrounded by a glowing bright white light. Effortlessly and body-less, my 'Energy' somehow was being pulled forward into its center and my memory of the journey was not one that was filled with question nor fear. I arrived again in a space that was complete stillness and my senses became very aware of my non-physical existence, realizing that I had passed. A super-fast reflection of my life left me feeling somewhat surprised as I was not expecting to die at such a young age. At the same time I was filled with the most PUREST form of LOVE, completely at peace and extremely accepting of my fate. Difficult to express in words as this level of LOVE doesn't seem to exist on earth... or at least I've never experienced such an incredible immense feeling during my lifetime. Fading into my awareness appeared a soft voice and interestingly, it wasn't male or female sounding. The voice continued to repeat my name until I was fully Present upon which time I received a download of information about the purpose of my life and the purpose of the human experience as a whole. Immersed in feelings of complete trust, love & belonging, with all certainty, I knew I was in the grace & presence of the DIVINE. I was encouraged to focus on my breathing as I would be returning to my body, as my life wasn't finished. Miraculously as I focused with intention, my eyes opened and I found myself back in my physical body, in the ICU, surrounded by a medical team who were working passionately to revive me. And my NEW life began.
A moment I will forever cherish: The ER Physician had returned to check-in on me, and as he leaned down to observe my pupils, I remember telling him I didn't feel very well. He gently replied; I know you don't, and then proceeded to ask if I had any family members in the waiting room .. I didn't at the time as my husband had to attend another urgent matter at home. Realizing I was alone, the Doctor's demeanour suddenly changed and he reached to hold my hand. Choosing to stay with me in that moment as he sensed my death nearing, I remember feeling a deep sense of comfort from him as I faded into unconsciousness. Through an incredible journey to the other side, miraculously I had been chosen to continue my human life but not before journeying a second NDE in the ICU, this time I was blessed with a visit from my late Mother before returning to my physical body, and I can't possibly find the words that would describe how grateful and meaningful it was to feel her love again.
NDE Description:
Both experiences were very similar with the exception of Mother's presence during the second NDE. I remember my life fading as if I were calmly drifting off to sleep. It was very quiet, actually still sounding, as I floated in a black quiet space. A cloud-like formation began to appear in front of me. It was greyish-white in colour, oval-shaped and surrounded by a glowing bright white light. Effortlessly and body-less, my 'Energy' somehow was being pulled forward into its center and my memory of the journey was not one that was filled with question nor fear. I arrived again in a space that was complete stillness and my senses became very aware of my non-physical existence, realizing that I had passed. A super-fast reflection of my life left me feeling somewhat surprised as I was not expecting to die at such a young age. At the same time I was filled with the most PUREST form of LOVE, completely at peace and extremely accepting of my fate. Difficult to express in words as this level of LOVE doesn't seem to exist on earth... or at least I've never experienced such an incredible immense feeling during my lifetime. Fading into my awareness appeared a soft voice and interestingly, it wasn't male or female sounding. The voice continued to repeat my name until I was fully Present upon which time I received a download of information about the purpose of my life and the purpose of the human experience as a whole. Immersed in feelings of complete trust, love & belonging, with all certainty, I knew I was in the grace & presence of the DIVINE. I was encouraged to focus on my breathing as I would be returning to my body, as my life wasn't finished. Miraculously as I focused with intention, my eyes opened and I found myself back in my physical body, in the ICU, surrounded by a medical team who were working passionately to revive me. And my NEW life began.
My Near Death Experience (NDE) was very similar to Jayne Smith's in its nature yet uniquely different in design. I fully believe, those Souls who have been called home and return is ON PURPOSE. The knowledge that is held upon the return is intended to be shared and serve others purely. Spend some time with someone who has had an NDE; your mind will get inspired, your heart will be full and your life, deeply motivated. I encourage you to watch this video in its entirety, it will be time well spent as you begin this New Year.
| aftereffectsofnds.pdf |
Published Research & Information on Near Death Experiences
Reference: www.iands.org
Characteristics of a Near Death Experience
Most NDEs are felt as peaceful and loving, but some are disturbing. Each near-death experience is unique, but as a group NDEs display common features.
After a wonderful NDE, people almost always report losing their fear of death and believing that the essential purpose of human life is to develop our capacity to love. After a disturbing NDE , a person will almost always look for an explanation for having had the experience; because many interpret it as a threat or warning, they may try to change habits or behaviors, or to take up a new religious practice, hoping to avoid a recurrence. However experiencers adjust to these personal transformations, they often have difficulty finding someone they trust to tell about the event. They usually feel in great need of information and support.
Nearly identical experiences may also occur when people are nowhere near death, or not in any health crisis at all-perhaps during prayer or meditation, under deep emotional stress, or at the bedside of a dying person. Rarely, they seem to happen spontaneously. The general elements and aftereffects are the same as in the true "near death" experiences.
- Intense emotions: commonly of profound peace, well-being, love; others marked by fear, horror, loss
- A perception of seeing one's body from above (called an out-of-body experience, or OBE), sometimes watching medical resuscitation efforts or moving instantaneously to other places
- Rapid movement through darkness, often toward an indescribable light
- A sense of being "somewhere else," in a landscape that may seem like a spiritual realm or world
- Incredibly rapid, sharp thinking and observations
- Encounter with deceased loved ones, possibly sacred figures (the Judges, Jesus, a saint) or unrecognized beings, with whom communication is mind-to-mind; these figures may seem consoling, loving, or terrifying
- A life review, reliving actions and feeling their emotional impact on others
- In some cases, a flood of knowledge about life and the nature of the universe
- Sometimes a decision to return to the body
- A sensation of floating out of one's body. Often followed by an out-of-body experience where all that goes on around the "vacated" body is both seen and heard accurately.
- Passing through a dark tunnel. Or black hole or encountering some kind of darkness. This is often accompanied by a feeling or sensation of movement or acceleration. "Wind" may be heard or felt.
- Ascending toward a light at the end of the darkness. A light of incredible brilliance, with the possibility of seeing people, animals, plants, lush outdoors, and even cities within the light.
- Greeted by friendly voices, people or beings who may be strangers, loved ones, or religious figures. Conversation can ensue, information or a message may be given.
- Seeing a panoramic review of the life just lived, from birth to death or in reverse order, sometimes becoming a reliving of the life rather than a dispassionate viewing. The person's life can be reviewed in its entirety or in segments. This is usually accompanied by a feeling or need to assess loss or gains during the life to determine what was learned or not learned. Other beings can take part in this judgment like process or offer advice.
- A reluctance to return to the earthplane, but invariably realizing either their job on earth is not finished or a mission must yet be accomplished before they can return to stay.
- Warped sense of time and space. Discovering time and space do not exist, losing the need to recognize measurements of life either as valid or necessary.
- Disappointment at being revived. Often feeling a need to shrink or somehow squeeze to fit back in to the physical body. There can be unpleasantness, even anger or tears at the realization they are now back in their bodies and no longer on "The Other Side."
After a wonderful NDE, people almost always report losing their fear of death and believing that the essential purpose of human life is to develop our capacity to love. After a disturbing NDE , a person will almost always look for an explanation for having had the experience; because many interpret it as a threat or warning, they may try to change habits or behaviors, or to take up a new religious practice, hoping to avoid a recurrence. However experiencers adjust to these personal transformations, they often have difficulty finding someone they trust to tell about the event. They usually feel in great need of information and support.
Nearly identical experiences may also occur when people are nowhere near death, or not in any health crisis at all-perhaps during prayer or meditation, under deep emotional stress, or at the bedside of a dying person. Rarely, they seem to happen spontaneously. The general elements and aftereffects are the same as in the true "near death" experiences.
PATTERN OF AFTEREFFECTS
Around eighty percent of the people who experienced near-death states claimed that their lives were forever changed by what happened to them. On closer examination, though, a pattern of surprising dimensions emerged. Experiencers were not returning with just a renewed zest for life and a more spiritual outlook. They were evidencing specific psychological and physiological differences on a scale never before faced by them. And this was true with child experiencers, as well as with teenagers and adults.
Various researchers have attempted to profile these changes over the years. Even without the necessary funding to do clinical studies, most feel that enough research has been done to justify acknowledging the aftereffects pattern and making information about it available. Knowing what is typical for experiencers should help to alleviate any worry or confusion not only for the individual involved—but for family and friends, as well as health-care professionals and the community at-large.
The pattern of aftereffects from near-death states can best be understood if considered under the separate headings of major characteristics of psychological and physiological changes. Details and explanations follow:
MAJOR CHARACTERISTICS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL CHANGES
Loss of the fear of death, more spiritual and less religious, easily engage in abstract thinking, more philosophical, can go through various bouts with depression, more generous and charitable than before, form expansive concepts of love while at the same time challenged to initiate and maintain satisfying relationships, "inner child" or unresolved issues from childhood tend to surface, less competitive, convinced of a life purpose, rejection of previous limitations in life and "normal" role-playing, heightened sensations of taste-touch-texture-smell, increased intuitive/psychic abilities plus the ability to know or "re-live" the future, charismatic, a child-like sense of wonder and joy, less stressed, more detached and objective, can continue to dissociate or "separate" from the body, easily absorbed ("merge into" whatever is focused on), hunger for knowledge and learning, highly curious.
MAJOR CHARACTERISTICS OF PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES
Altered thought-processing (switch from sequential/ selective thinking to clustered thinking: thoughts bunch together/ideas pop up), comfortable with ambiguity, heightened intelligence, more creative and inventive, unusual sensitivity to light and sound, substantially more or less energy (even energy surges in body), reversal of body clock, lower blood pressure, accelerated metabolic and substance absorption rates (decreased tolerance of pharmaceuticals and chemically treated products), often turn to alternative healthcare treatments, electrical sensitivity, synesthesia (multiple sensing), increased allergies or sensitivities, can possess ability to heal, a preference for more vegetables and grains (less of meat), physically younger looking (before and after photos can differ).
You may be able to delay their onset or lessen the impact they have, but you cannot pretend away the complex and life-altering potential they bring.
Irrespective of any drama brought on by near-death states, what happens afterward is where true value and real meaning are established.
HELPFUL NOTES
Adjusting to the aftereffects takes time. The first three years tend to be the most confusing, almost as if the individual isn't "fully back." Experiencers and their families are urged to attend or start a local IANDS group, and to read books for indepth research studies about aftereffects.
Around eighty percent of the people who experienced near-death states claimed that their lives were forever changed by what happened to them. On closer examination, though, a pattern of surprising dimensions emerged. Experiencers were not returning with just a renewed zest for life and a more spiritual outlook. They were evidencing specific psychological and physiological differences on a scale never before faced by them. And this was true with child experiencers, as well as with teenagers and adults.
Various researchers have attempted to profile these changes over the years. Even without the necessary funding to do clinical studies, most feel that enough research has been done to justify acknowledging the aftereffects pattern and making information about it available. Knowing what is typical for experiencers should help to alleviate any worry or confusion not only for the individual involved—but for family and friends, as well as health-care professionals and the community at-large.
The pattern of aftereffects from near-death states can best be understood if considered under the separate headings of major characteristics of psychological and physiological changes. Details and explanations follow:
MAJOR CHARACTERISTICS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL CHANGES
Loss of the fear of death, more spiritual and less religious, easily engage in abstract thinking, more philosophical, can go through various bouts with depression, more generous and charitable than before, form expansive concepts of love while at the same time challenged to initiate and maintain satisfying relationships, "inner child" or unresolved issues from childhood tend to surface, less competitive, convinced of a life purpose, rejection of previous limitations in life and "normal" role-playing, heightened sensations of taste-touch-texture-smell, increased intuitive/psychic abilities plus the ability to know or "re-live" the future, charismatic, a child-like sense of wonder and joy, less stressed, more detached and objective, can continue to dissociate or "separate" from the body, easily absorbed ("merge into" whatever is focused on), hunger for knowledge and learning, highly curious.
- Near-death experiencers come to love and accept others without the usual attachments and conditions society expects. They perceive themselves as equally and fully loving of each and all, openly generous, excited about the potential and wonder of each person they see. Their desire is to be a conduit of universal love. Confused family members tend to regard this sudden switch in behavior as oddly threatening, as if their loved one had become aloof, unresponsive, even uncaring and unloving. Some mistake this "unconditional" way of expressing joy and affection (heart-centered rather than person-centered) as flirtatious disloyalty. Divorce can result.
- One of the reasons life seems so different afterward is because the experiencer now has a basis of comparison unknown before. Familiar codes of conduct can lose relevance or disappear altogether as new interests take priority. Such a shift in reference points can lead to a childlike naivete. With the fading of previous norms and standards, basic caution and discernment can also fade. It is not unusual to hear of near-death experiencers being cheated, lied to, or involved in unpleasant mishaps and accidents. Once they are able to begin integrating what happened to them, discernment usually returns.
- Most experiencers develop a sense of timelessness. They tend to "flow" with the natural shift of light and dark, and display a more heightened awareness of the present moment and the importance of being "in the now." Making future preparations can seem irrelevant to them. This behavior is often labeled "spaciness" by others, who do their best to ignore the change in perception, although seldom do they ignore the shift in speech. That's because many experiencers refer to their episode as if it were a type of "divider" separating their "former" life from the present one.
- There's no denying that experiencers become quite intuitive afterward. Psychic displays can be commonplace, such as: out-of-body episodes, manifestation of "beings" met in near-death state, "remembering" the future, finishing another's sentence, "hearing" plants and animals "speak." This behavior is not only worrisome to relatives and friends, it can become frightening to them. A person's religious beliefs do not alter or prevent this amplification of faculties and stimuli. Yet, experiencers willing to learn how to control and refine these abilities, consider them beneficial.
- Life paradoxes begin to take on a sense of purpose and meaning, as forgiveness tends to replace former needs to criticize and condemn. Hard driving achievers and materialists can transform into easy-going philosophers; but, by the same token, those more relaxed or uncommitted before can become energetic "movers and shakers," determined to make a difference in the world. Personality reversals seem to depend more on what's "needed" to round out the individual's inner growth than on any uniform outcome. Although initially bewildered, families can be so impressed by what they witness that they, too, change-making the experience a "shared event."
- The average near-death experiencer comes to regard him or herself as "an immortal soul currently resident within a material form so lessons can be learned while sojourning in the earthplane." They now know they are not their body; many go on to embrace the theory of reincarnation. Eventually, the present life, the present body, becomes important and special again.
- What was once foreign becomes familiar, what was once familiar becomes foreign. Although the world is the same, the experiencer isn't. Hence, they tend to experiment with novel ways to communicate, even using abstract and grandiose terms to express themselves. With patience and effort on everyone's part, communication can improve and life can resume some degree of routine. But, the experiencer seems ever to respond to a "tune" no one else can hear (this can continue lifelong).
MAJOR CHARACTERISTICS OF PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES
Altered thought-processing (switch from sequential/ selective thinking to clustered thinking: thoughts bunch together/ideas pop up), comfortable with ambiguity, heightened intelligence, more creative and inventive, unusual sensitivity to light and sound, substantially more or less energy (even energy surges in body), reversal of body clock, lower blood pressure, accelerated metabolic and substance absorption rates (decreased tolerance of pharmaceuticals and chemically treated products), often turn to alternative healthcare treatments, electrical sensitivity, synesthesia (multiple sensing), increased allergies or sensitivities, can possess ability to heal, a preference for more vegetables and grains (less of meat), physically younger looking (before and after photos can differ).
- Sensitivity to light and sound can be a serious issue and may necessitate some lifestyle changes. While most experiencers learn to limit sunshine exposure, others can't get enough. Almost everyone, though, has similar difficulties with loud or discordant sounds. Many can no longer tolerate "hard" rock music. The vast majority prefer classical, melodic, and/or natural sounds, and become passionate about using music to heal.
- Energy surges up and down the body happen to many, and can be accompanied by "lights" in the air. Researchers usually regard this as the release of "kundalini" (a Sanskrit term meaning "coiled energy at the base of the spine"). Supposedly, kundalini energy and spiritual energy are one in the same, yet the theory behind this idea remains unproven.
- Electrical sensitivity refers to a condition whereby the forcefield or energy around an individual affects nearby electrical equipment and technological devices. Usually sporadic in effect and impact, some experiencers have noticed: watches can stop, microphones "squeal," tape recorders quit, television channels change with no one at controls, light bulbs pop, telephone "drops off," computers suddenly lose memory, and so forth. Experiencers more at ease with their new traits report fewer of these incidents than those still in the process of making adjustments.
- Physical differences, along with attitudinal changes, eventually lead experiencers to alter their approach to health and healing, employment, finances, lifestyle and relationship issues. Many say that it's almost as if they have to relearn how to use their own body and brain. Once adjustments are made, the majority come to live healthy, productive lives that are happier, more spiritually-oriented and energetic than before. To deny or repress the aftereffects seems to leave individuals feeling somehow "incomplete," and can foster unwanted "breakthroughs" years later.
You may be able to delay their onset or lessen the impact they have, but you cannot pretend away the complex and life-altering potential they bring.
Irrespective of any drama brought on by near-death states, what happens afterward is where true value and real meaning are established.
HELPFUL NOTES
Adjusting to the aftereffects takes time. The first three years tend to be the most confusing, almost as if the individual isn't "fully back." Experiencers and their families are urged to attend or start a local IANDS group, and to read books for indepth research studies about aftereffects.
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